Monday, December 28, 2009

Quickie ...

You know I don't usually go political on this here blog, and I promise a real entry later today, but I just had to post this. Someone sent me this link, and the idea of it makes me laugh.

This is a YouTube video without any actual, um, video. It's professional wrestling manager Jim Cornette going off about health care. Now, some of it contains a few bad words, so any kiddies out there shouldn't listen. But if you're over 18, push play.

As the person who forwarded this to me said, the funniest part about the rant is that Cornette -- a dude who makes a living accompanying steroid-laden entertainers to the ring and then hitting folks with steel chairs -- makes more sense about health care and expresses everything better than anyone I've heard yet, including our president.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Turning To Baseball ...

OK, so we're going to not talk about pop culture for a second. Don't hate me. I've been meaning to write about baseball for the last couple days.

It's been a pretty busy week for hot-stove fans. But I don't want to talk about how the Red Sox got better or how I feel about trading a handful of prospects for Adrian Gonzalez. What I want to discuss is a piece penned by Jerry Crasnick (who I usually enjoy reading even if he does think Dayton Moore is a good general manager) about the best pitcher of the decade.

I've been thinking a lot about the last decade lately. For an upcoming edition of Weekend, I'll be putting together a list of the best albums and, probably, films of the '00s. Crasnick's story made me think about the best pitcher. He chose Mariano Rivera. Of course, I'm a big Red Sox fan, so it's hard for me to be objective, but I just don't understand how we can choose, basically, a one-inning guy for this title.

He threw 713 innings from 2000-2009. To put that in perspective, Randy Johnson topped that number before 2002 was over.

Look, I realize Mariano is the greatest closer of all time, and I pray each night to Baseball Jesus that the Sox can find someone as consistently great as him. But, we have to remember that the closer as we know it is a modern-day invention. Even 20 years ago, relievers were not used like Rivera. And do we honestly think that if some idiot made Randy Johnson a closer 20 years ago he wouldn't have had peak years as good as Mariano? There's a reason Rivera and every good closer is a closer: They failed as a starter.

I'm not sure if Randy Johnson is the pitcher of the '00s, but, keep in mind, in those three years that I noted, the big lefty did win three Cy Youngs, three more than Rivera has in his presumably filled trophy case. I think you can make a good case for Doc Halladay and Johan Santana and, even, Roy Oswalt for the title of pitcher of the '00s. I'm going with Johnson, I guess, but my real point, obviously, is to argue against a closer. Can't we all agree on this?

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

BAR Shows No More

I will have more on this in Weekend, but effective the minute Sunday's show ends, there will no longer be Sunday evening shows at BAR. The venue and booker Rick Omonte (Shaki Presents) have parted ways. All of the shows scheduled for after Sunday have been canceled.

The venue may choose to do something in the future, but, as of now, New Haven's lost one of its most vital spaces for live music.

Not The One In Cooperstown

When I logged onto my computer this morning, I was pleasantly surprised to read something that's been a long, long time coming: Genesis has finally been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. About damn time.

But that's not even the main reason for the excitement. Oh, sure, the band getting recognized is great, but what does that do for me? This is all about me, you know?

Everyone who reads this here blog enough knows that I have a thing for Genesis. I love the band. I particularly care for the Peter Gabriel-led version of the group; but, hey, I don't discriminate. I'm a firm believer that the Phil Collins years are critically underrated. There's some good stuff on those records.

Anyway, what gets me most excited about this is the possibility of a Peter Gabriel/Genesis reunion for the concert that always happens during the induction ceremonies. I would be way too happy. I would take the day off from work, order too much food, buy a case of Whale's Tale and get way too anxious. It'd be the best day of my life. And then maybe it would spawn a full-blown reunion tour, which I would never go to because I would died of a heart attack when the tour was announced. Woo hoo.

I'm just so excited about the possibilities. I mean, I feel like the reunion at the induction is almost a given. I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

What else am I excited about? Oh, yeah, a Miss Carrie Underwood is coming to Bridgeport in March. I am going to buy an engagement ring and offer my apartment as a hotel substitute. I have a winning personality, you know ...

Sunday, December 13, 2009

And It's December

I bet you expect me to make some dumb excuse about Thanksgiving, teaching or having lots of work for not posting in what seems like forever. Well, you're wrong.

You see, I was driving my little Fit down the road and hit a tree. Right after this happened, everybody in the world found out that I was having sex with 3,234 different women each night. With that in mind, you should realize that I can only text things like, "CU l8er for OMG good stuff. Can I be ur boyfriend? I will wear you out soon" to so many people in one day and still have time to post here.

I hope you guys understand. I mean, it's kind of understandable, right? We only so many hours in a day. Some things have to take precedence, and that includes my many mistresses.

In case you didn't figure it out, I'm actually lying about everything I just wrote. I was trying to make a joke about Tiger Woods. If you haven't heard, he's a professional golfer that likes to have sex with skanky women.

He's famous and married a hot Swedish nanny and the world is currently in the process of acting surprised that a famous dude who married a hot Swedish nanny may like to have sex with women, that he may be superficial. Who would have thunk it?

Seriously, the only thing I find even remotely interesting about this whole story is the idea that none of this would have happened if Tiger could just back out of his driveway without incident. Then nobody would have found out about anything. I mean, that's kind of odd, right?

Oh, and I must admit, I did really enjoy reading the text messages in the Post last week. The whole situation proves he's an ass, but the texts just made him look incredibly stupid. So I'll say it right here: Tiger Woods, you can play golf but you have a brain the size of my big toe. And my big toe is not abnormally large. It's really quite average looking.

Honestly, though, I don't have a great excuse for not posting lately. The holiday made me incredibly busy, so the week before and after were ridiculous. After that, though, I was just in a groove of not posting. Sorry. I promise it won't happen again. Believe me.

I'm sure there have been plenty of fun things I could have posted about over the last month, and now that opportunity is gone. That's what saddens me the most. I saw three great shows over the last week. I find it absolutely amazing how well "The Blind Side" is doing at the box office. I thought I was in the majority whenever I said, "Sandra Bullock can't act." Who knew? I could have talked about all of this at length. Lots of paragraphs.

What else? Well, I'll admit something somewhat embarrassing here. I've always sort of enjoyed fantasy football. I've done it for a few years with my little brother's friends and that's been it. I spend very little time doing it and don't watch that many games. But I've become addicted to fantasy basketball. My friends Harris, Jay and I constantly talk about it; that's really all we talk about at the bar. Anyway, I wanted to get that off my chest.

So, yeah, since I can't go back in time and recommend things, just be ready for Thursday. That's when Eric Bachmann plays Cafe Nine. That's going to be an awesome and huge gig. I'm an excited boy. I'll leave you with a video of his: