Rosie vs. Elisabeth, And More

I'm completely serious when I say that I've never seen more than 15 consecutive seconds of "The View." But, man, I think I'm starting to regret that. All these stories about Rosie O'Donnell and Elisabeth Hasselbeck are totally hilarious.

Read this one. So Rosie is on one side and "Survivor" woman on the other, and Rosie's going on about some inane thing taken out of context and the other one just sits there saying something like, "I don't want to talk about this." I wish I saw it. I don't know how Rosie can call Elisabeth a coward though: Pretty soon she'll be the only breadwinner in her family, once her husband gets cut by the Giants.

In other news, I'm not an "American Idol" viewer either. But it looks like someone named Jordin Sparks won the show this year. I keep hearing that Simon and company might have jumped the shark this season... and that was before someone with a perfect porn name won.

When did the last "episode" of the second "Star Wars" trilogy come out? I don't remember. I know, I know: It was 2005. What I do remember, distinctly, is that I wrote a column about how there wasn't as much buzz surrounding it as there was "Episode 1." Wow, I've never received so much hate mail. People wanted me dead. I'm pretty sure you can still find an Internet debate from readers discussing my degree of dumbness. Well, let the mail flow again: I would rather die than do this. If you're interested in reading what I read to spark the hate mail, here's my article from two years back. If you keep reading past the "Star Wars" part, you'll find that I sort of choose the best-picture Oscar winner almost a year before the trophy was handed out. And you want to debate my dumbness!

This site will ask you a few questions and then generate a fake band bio. Pretty fun.

I'm a huge fan of the site Fire Joe Morgan. It is on a real roll right now. If you want some of the best sports media criticism on the Web - all with tons of humor - go take a gander.

You know, a few years back the Wilson brothers - Owen and Luke - could do no wrong. Now Slate is publishing articles about how they've gotten stale. You know, I can't really disagree, especially in the case of Owen.

Ain't It Cool News somehow scored almost four minutes of footage from the upcoming "Rambo" flick. So, if you're 17 and interested in all things Sylvester "I Love HGH" Stallone, go check this out. Man, does Sly look old or what? There's so much violence, it's actually laughable.

I don't know about you, but I can't stop listening to this new Handsome Furs record.

The good ol' Mountain Movers officially releases its picture disc Sunday at BAR. Um, this is a must attend. On the other side of the picture disc is Titles, and it plays Rudy's Saturday. That's another must-see show. Titles plays first, so get there for 10 p.m.

I think I'm about done now.