A couple observations from the AP wire:
"Author Danielle Steele writes to 'give people hope'"
Um, does she write to give people hope that they can become a decent looking, middle-aged woman who finds a Greek prince to have sensual romantic trysts on beaches with? I mean, if that's the case, then this headline is right on.
"Attorney: Lohan on track with sentence compliance"
So Lindsay Lohan is doing a good job not drinking and driving anymore? Wow, she deserves some kind of medal. What a role model this young lady is turning out to be here in 2008. If she can just avoid showing paparazzi her uncovered crotch, well, she'll be America's favorite daughter by the end of the year.
"Barenaked Ladies singer arrested on drug charges"
Wait, are you trying to tell me that a rock singer might like to indulge in a little cocaine with two women? I don't believe you. Steven Page makes fun and wholesome music; he would never like drugs and young ladies. No damn way.
"Boy Band promoter ordered to repay victims $300M"
Is that how much they're valuing Lance Bass' career at these days?
"Katie Holmes goes back to TV roots on 'Eli Stone'"
You know, this is why so many mistrust the media. Everyone knows Katie Holmes was abducted by aliens. And, come on, there's no such television show as "Eli Stone."
"'Star Wars' video game bridges gap between films"
You know what else it bridges the gap between? The gap between when some 30-year-old male comes home from his job at some computer company and parks himself in his parents' basement, and when he goes to bed.
"Andy Dick jailed in SoCal on drug, sex allegations"
Andy Dick? Drugs? Sex allegations with a young lady? I don't believe this at all. I mean, shouldn't Andy have been in jail a decade or ago? And, oh yeah, why he still considered a celebrity? What's Richard Moll doing these days?