Thursday, February 12, 2009

Not Quite A Week ...

... But I have taken too much time between blog entries. It's those damn classes I'm teaching. Sorry. By the end of any day, I feel like someone's kicked me in the head and made me very exhausted. What can you do? I'm not complaining. I kind of like it when someone kicks me in the head. If you ever see me and feel like kicking me in the head, go for it. Just let me know first so I can take off my glasses, OK?

Let's start by saying that the video above is from the band Goblin Cock, which thanks to Manic Productions, is playing at Cafe Nine tonight. Seriously, this is a show not to miss. I know the name sounds dumb, but it's a good one.

Anyway, let get down to some good ol' entertainment news or something. I haven't even posted about The Grammys yet. You're going to get a notebook in tomorrow's Weekend section, but let me just mention what I found most appalling: Producers were clearly so afraid of putting Lil Wayne on stage to sing by himself, they had to make it a duet with the Crown Prince of No Talent: Robin Thicke. If someone were to just grab and squeeze the testicles of most any man, they too could sing like Robin Thicke. But, seriously, Wayne got the most nominations of anybody, yet we couldn't just see him show why?

No, because we need to sanitize the performance of a tattooed black rapper by having him perform with a good-looking white soul singer. Jeez. Oh, and did anyone find it surprising that voters chose the most milquetoast album ever, "Raising Sand," as album of the year over Wayne, Coldplay, Radiohead and Ne-Yo? I sure hope not.

I don't know about you, but opera is usually a little too high-brow and, really, unnatural for me to enjoy. Oh, sure, I've seen a couple that have been enjoyable and I can appreciate the art of it all, but it's not for me. With that said, I'd love to see how the story of Anna Nicole Smith translates into an opera. I mean, if this isn't tragic comedy, much like "Happy Gilmore," it'd be a waste of stellar source material.

I haven't bothered to listen to the new U2 record yet, but if the band's stint on Letterman features only songs like "Get On Your Boots," which it performed at The Grammys, I feel bad for viewers. That song stinks like poo — diseased poo.

This story makes me real queasy inside. I feel like I may vomit from sadness.

I don't know about you guys, but I love "Top Chef," which is kind of odd since I probably wouldn't eat much that the chefs whip up on the show. Well, last night's episode was particularly fun to watch.

Wow, some folks would like Miley Cyrus to pay out a cool $4 billion for making that controversial face recently. How come nobody did the same to the Spanish national basketball team?

If you don't think I'm buying this book on the day it comes out and have plans to laugh hysterically for days, you don't know me very well.

That's it. I'll end with a video clip. This is seriously one of the funniest things I've seen in a while. I know it's probably a hoax, but please check out this Joaquin Phoenix appearance on Letterman.


sj said...

my friend alex and i just had a conversation yesterday about the crazy mountain man rapper Joauqin.

he had an interesting theory... that he's doing a kind of andy kaufman crazy character -- that he's always acting kind of thing?

i found your grammy column very entertaining. i'm only sad that i didn't watch the entire thing to be able to agree with you on every point. but what i saw? (scared me) (and was also right on.)

happy valentine's day!

Anonymous said...

Here's a thought.

Let's all presume that Joaquin Phoenix is being serious for a moment.

Is there any reason we'd care about his career as a rap star?

Let's just all do what any sane person would do and ignore him.

For Letterman or anyone else to indulge his foray into the bizarre is giving WAY too much attention to this nitwit.

Ignore him and maybe, like he and his film career, he and his rap career will just go away.