Thursday, May 14, 2009

Meet Frank Masso

Frank Masso and I have some things in common.

He lives in Connecticut. I live in Connecticut.

He's presumably at least somewhat Italian. I am Italian.

He guests on radio and TV shows occasionally. Sometimes I guest on radio and TV shows.

He thinks the media can do a better job. I think the media can do a better job.

And Frank Masso doesn't want to attend Gathering of the Vibes. And I certainly don't want to attend Gathering of the Vibes.

That's about where the similarities end, I think.

Frank Masso seemingly runs the Bible Prophecy Ministry. He's a looney-tune Christian. I don't run any organizations and am not a loony-tune Christian.

Frank decided to send me a letter this week. Let's just say I'm happy to have received such a letter. It's chock-full of information I had no idea about. Once I got through the myriad of spelling mistakes, horrendous grammar and lack of proofreading, I was able to learn a whole lot of new things.

For example, did you know that David Crosby, who will perform at the Vibes in late July, "is out to steal young people from their parents (sic) world and get them to replace their value systems"? Neither did I.

Frank did. Thank you, Frank, for sharing.

You see, Frank hates rock music. And rap music. And any other kind of music that doesn't sing about loving Jesus. Oh, and he also hates anybody who doesn't love Jesus as much as him. For example, did you know that (I'm leaving exact grammar) "In a recent vibes concert the Wailers were advertised as a feature band! No one mentioned the fact that the Wailers advocate marijuana and they also belong to the Rastafarian Cult! They believe Haile Selassie is the Messiah - not Jesus Christ!"

That doesn't make Frank happy. According to his bio that he included in his loving and thoughtful letter, Masso booked rock concerts in Connecticut from 1968-1980. Then he found Jesus. Then he wrote a pamphlet that "proves many of the rock and roll music acts promotes (sic) drugs / alcohol / rebellion / perverted sex / the occult and even satanism in their lyrics / quotes / cd cover designs / etc...! Some of the rock and roll musical acts Frank (editor's note: yes, first person!) exposes are Alice Cooper / Black Sabbath / Cult / Fleetwood Mac / Iggy Pop / Led Zeppelin / Prince / Slayer / Twisted Sister / ZZ Top / etc...!"

But don't worry, it's not all bad news. In this pamphlet, Frank also "includes the plan of salvation which explains how to accept Jesus Christ as Messiah and make heaven your home for eternity!"
I am so glad this came. How would I have ever known, otherwise, that the Black Crowes "advocate marijuana" and that Phil Lesh has "destroyed his liver as a result of alcohol and drug abuse over the years!"?

Frank also has done some extensive reporting for his letter. I mean, he puts my journalistic cred to shame. You know what he found out? It's amazing. Frank must have gone deep undercover because he talked to musicians! He withholds their names, but says that some musicians who played at the Vibes, a noted jam-band festival, will never go back "due to the amount of drugs and alcohol usage they saw going on in the musicians quarters." Oh my god!

Oh, and don't think Frank only likes to talk to men. No way. He also spoke with a "female musician." You know what she said? She said that "many of the male musicians at event (sic) kept telling her they wanted have sex with her at the event grounds anytime she is ready!"

Folks, I could go and on, but I don't want you to get all your information from me. You can get your free pamphlet by sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to Frank Masso, Bible Prophecy Ministry, PO Box 2713, Bridgeport, CT, 06608. Please tell him Pat sent you.

In all seriousness, I can't stand people like good ol' Frank. But I am so glad when they send me letters. In gives me material for this here blog. I have no idea where that video above came from, but doesn't it make this entry that much more priceless to see what Frank looks like?

But, like I said, at least Frank and I agree on one thing. No Vibes for us. Maybe we can get a beer together instead?


Anonymous said...

Can you believe that I was once married to this guy you are talking about? Yeah, during the time he was into sex, drugs and rock n' roll concert promoting. He was absolutely decadent and evil. You wouldn't BELIEVE the things he used to do! That was the WORST mistake of my life, it still gives me nightmares to this day. He's even scarier now that he's a right wing fundie. Funny, but scary. I'm surprised they gave him a TV spot. He's such a freak. I still hate him, and will do so FOREVER.

Anonymous said...

It's kind of funny in the midst of making fun of the spelling and grammar in the pamphlet, you use the word "myriad" wrong. I guess even a high and mighty entertainment editor can't get everything right.

Pat Ferrucci said...

Nope. I use myriad correctly. As a noun, it means a great number or infinite amount. That's what it says. But thanks for the comment. Dictionaries are wonderful tools.

Anonymous said...

Hoping for a new blog post soon, so we won't have to look the mug of this reprehensible idiot every time we check in.

Pete said...

Douche, that picture is NOT Frank Masso - Its the uncredit Jim Sharky from the now defunct Loneshark CATV access show.

Pat Ferrucci said...


The Internet is amazing creation. Not only can you post photos, but also, get ready for this, videos. If you to press on the thing you call a "picture," you would find out, miraculously, that it's actually a video that talks about Frank Masso, hosted by whoever the guy in the main frame is. It's good to think before making insults. I'm reminded of that saying about assumptions ...