Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Wednesday Warbles

So here we are, on this wonderful Wednesday, less than a week before Christmas. I have no idea why I started this blog with that sentence; it just felt right. Don't we have to go by our gut feelings sometimes? My other gut feeling wants a buffalo chicken wrap, but I'll ignore that one for the moment.

Anyway, I'm just taking a break from getting Weekend all ready to go. You've got plenty to look forward to on Friday. I've got a column about vomit, movie reviews of about 37 movies, Todd Lyon visiting the Valley and, of course, our annual New Year's Eve roundup featuring more restaurants and clubs than you can shake a stick at. Watch out shaking sticks though; someone could lose an eye ... or a nose.

So the photo at the top of this story is me and Huck, a blow-up doll that I met through a bunch of Yale students who believe in eugenics. You see, when I was writing my column on The Game, a group of Yale alums invited me to have beer with them and listen to their plan about only having sex with fellow Yale alums, thus creating more and more Yale football fans. Sounded OK to me.

The biggest thing for me today will be my Celtics facing the Pistons on national television. I'll get to watch the Celts for the first time in a long while, and the team will finally compete against a quality opponent. Good times.

Sometimes, press releases rule. Let me share with you two press releases for books I've received in the past 40 or so hours. Here we go. This first one is about "They Want You to Know ... Messages from Beyond the Grave."

One of the most interesting compilations of predictions, past experiences and mysteries from life yesterday and today is expressed in an interview book unlike any other published, "What They Want You to Know ... Messages from Beyond the Grave." Carter Shepard's second book is replete with comments and thoughts from some of the most powerful and elite people of our society ... who, by the way, are all deceased!

The interviews were designed to be done with no preconceived notions. As in a case like O.J. Simpson, there has been tremendous interest regarding his innocence. When I asked Nicole to describe her murder, I had no clue what her answer would be. It is not I, but Nicole, who accused O.J. And it is interesting to note that Nicole said O.J. would be in trouble again — and look what is happening in his life right now!

No excerpts from the press release for this one, but how about a book aimed at alcoholics titled, "Just Snap Your Fingers and ... Bingo You're Sober." That's just too perfect.

In other news, it seems Jessica Simpson thinks taking her clothes off will give her more credibility. I can't agree more. You see, before I was able to write things in newspapers, I had to do a full-frontal scene in some obscure art film. If I didn't do that, I would not be taken seriously today.

Like sister, like sister: It seems Britney Spears' sibling Jamie Lynn Spears also doesn't understand the value of a condom. Some folks, especially 16-year-olds, just shouldn't procreate, OK?

Well, the Lying Lunch Lady won't collect her cash. Poor, poor her. Yeah right.

If I ever get married, I hope my bride wears a toilet-paper dress. I mean, I might get nervous and have to use the restroom suddenly. Plus, I'm guessing most women never wear their bridal dress again, so why not have one that can provide another use?

It's been 10 whole years since Chris Farley died. Wow. Read this tribute piece to a guy I never really found funny, but had his life sadly taken early.

I guess Lily Allen is pregnant. I wonder if the kid will pop out spewing pointless swears.

Well, the writers' strike is getting so bad, NBC will begin airing episodes of "Monk" and "Psych" in January. The sad truth about this is that those two shows are far better than anything on NBC currently ... besides all those "Law & Order" shows.

I guess that's all I've got for today. We'll talk tomorrow in between my two Christmas parties. Smile.


Anonymous said...

Maybe Huck should catch "Lars and the Real Girl"?

Pat Ferrucci said...

Or maybe those Yalies should ...

Anonymous said...

I mean, the premise is OK, but I find that Shaloub guy kind of insufferable.

I don't catch much network TV (don't worry - I'm not one of those snobs who's going to say they only watch the Discovery and History channels - it's just that I'm usually working), but when I thought about it, most of what I DO catch is on NBC - "30 Rock" is consistently a stitch, there are occasional laugh-out-loud moments from "The Office" and "My Name is Earl" (sorry, but I never got that whole "Scrubs" thing), "Friday Night Lights" is pretty good drama, "Chuck" is intermittently amusing in a fanboy/geek kind of way and - well - we'll always have season 1 of "Heroes" (let's just pretend Season 2 was a bad joke on us all). And - oh yeah - that "Bionic Woman" is a bionic HOTTIE (and in "real life" she's veddy British!).

About all I can stomach on CBS is "Amazing Race" and were it not for "Lost" on ABC, I'd probably block the station altogether with the V-chip.

OK, enough of that -

Two parties, huh?
Hope you've got suitable gaudy attire for each. My sincerest hope for you is that the punch at each one is potent.

For those of us loyal readers, fess up - what's on the Xmas wish list this year? I can't imagine anyone being daring enough to try to buy you CDs - 'cause I mean - big risk, no? There must be something you're hoping will be in the big box under Mom and Dad's tree. BESIDES Carrie Underwood...

Well, must be off to finish up shopping (what does one get a parent who wants nothing, has everything, and is REALLY bad about dropping hints?) Hope your shopping is done, and that you can enjoy the remaining days in the big countdown!

Peace Out -

Pat Ferrucci said...

OK, so I'll grant you your point about NBC, only because I've never seen most of the shows you're talking about. I like "The Office," don't like "My Name is Earl" and have never seen the rest.

Christmas shopping hasn't even begun; that's what Fridays are for ... As for my Christmas list, that's for an upcoming blog.


PS: I like "Monk."