Wednesday, April 08, 2009


The tabloids are in a hissy! Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson have broken up and they've done it in spectacular fashion! Woo-hoo. The story's too good to be true. So good that US Weekly — the very best proof that our society is going to poop — did a "far-ranging interview over several lengthy phone calls and e-mails" with Lohan for a cover story.

It's just the way it is. Magazines like US make dollars by taking advantage of celebrities and invading their privacy. Stars like Lohan have made careers by taking advantage of magazines like US and letting them invade their privacy. Heck, wasn't it only last month that Jennifer Aniston was doing interviews about wanting to move, settle down and get away from all the paparazzi invading her privacy? That was, of course, days before or after she intentionally walked down a main street in Los Angeles, arm and arm with King Idiot, so that photogs could snap photos and, thus, promote "He's Just Not That Into You."

But I don't want to talk about Lindsay. She's probably a little unbalanced and may have some drug problems. Who knows? Of course, she's 22 and has grown up in the spotlight with whack jobs for parents, people who only want to be famous themselves. Her problems make sense in a sad, strange way.

No, what I want to talk about is the oddest part of that initial story I linked to, the one that describes the breakup and teases the US Weekly article. It's just a little sentence at the end of the story, but, to me, it's strange, hysterical and, most of all, very sad. I want to talk about Lindsay's allegation that Drea de Matteo walked by her and said, "Come at me, b***h."

A quick read of this story might make some think about how pathetic the once promising Lohan's career has become. But, again, she's 22 and could very easily recover. I'd like to mention how absolutely pathetic a person Drea de Matteo must be, if this true. Either way, she's gotten herself involved in this breakup, which is no doubt true.

This woman is 37 years old. Get a damn life. Feuding of sorts with a kid? This is a woman who has nowhere near the acting chops of Lohan, is famous only because she played trashy well on "The Sopranos" and hasn't been able to get another job because she can't, you know, act.

Celebrities are always going to be different than you and me. They live in a different world. But if I'm ever a washed-up C-level, 37-year-old actor and am picking fights with a messed up kid, please shoot me, or at least kick me in the junk. I give you permission. You can always point to this blog entry as evidence that I OKed this.

We clear? Good. Now let's return to our regularly scheduled program. What's that program? Music, silly.

At Toad's Place tonight, two great bands will be on stage. Both Margot and the Nuclear So & So's and Cloud Cult would be worth catching on their own. On one bill, though? That's a woo-hoo. Yep, it's woo-hoo worthy. Make sure to check that stuff out.

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