Wednesday, October 29, 2008

In The Name Of Journalism

Because I am a part of the esteemed print media, the people who bring you up-to-date and important news daily, I have a responsibility to cover events. Because of this obligation, I will be participating in the World Pong Tour's event tonight in New Haven.

Yes, a tour of beer pong tournaments is coming to the Elm City at 8 tonight. As such, I must be a good entertainment reporter and participate along with noted Counting Crows enthusiast and Play magazine editor Jeff Petrin. The two of us, under Jeff's favorite team name The Lazer Beamz, will compete for a treasure chest of prizes including a free spring break vacation. Now, I'm 29, so I don't think I'll be going on a spring break any time soon, and I've already told Jeff I refuse to travel with him, but we're journalists and must do this for you, the reader.

I will report back tomorrow on how a beer pong tournament goes. Jeff has only played like once, and while I have more experience, let's just remember that I finished up undergrad some seven years ago. We will see.

So what else? I guess the Boss doesn't like Halloween this year. If I went trick or treating at Bruce Springsteen's house, he'd better give me full-size candy bars. Anything less would be very disappointing. And I don't even like candy.

Jimmy Buffett will sing for Obama Sunday. If he could convince all the Parrotheads to vote for Obama, this election may be a landslide. I wonder if John McCain will try to use Obama's connection to Buffett to hurt the Democratic candidate. I mean, Jimmy's like a terrorist. Remember when he tried to bring all those drugs into the country?

I have this feeling, that if Fox ever brought back "Melrose Place," my mother would die of excitement. I've known the woman for a long time, obviously, and I've never seen her so into a television show, and she doesn't get into anything.

Um, why would anyone stalk David Caruso? In other news, why would producers choose Caruso to star in a show set in Miami? The dude would be burnt to a crisp by now.

Oh, poor Colin Farrell is "pained" over "Alexander" failing a few years back. Well, you know what? I was pained while watching the crappy movie. So pained I had to shut it off. So pained that watching half is one of my biggest regrets in life. So pained that reading this blurb is making me upset. Heck, I don't think I've seen more than one or two Farrell movies that haven't pained me.

If this story is true, I'd sure like to meet Monica Cruz. Yep. That's on the to-do list.

I guess that's all I got for today. Wish me luck at beer pong. I'm going to need it.


sj said...

i have never actually played beer pong, though i a) like beer and b) like ping pong.

i suspect that i'd be quite good at it.

it's admirable the things you'll do for your work.

Vixen said...

Um, why would anyone stalk David Caruso?

I have no idea. Maybe this is the only woman left that is still attracted to Caruso!

Anonymous said...

Pong update, please.

Anonymous said...

Good Lord, I feel neglected.

I mean...hel-LO?!